It’s been 2 months since I officially quit my job.
Some think it’s not the wisest decision to let go of a job when a lot are struggling hard to find one. Plus, letting go of the financial security when times are so damn hard is as stupid as it gets. I know. But they are not in my shoes to claim what is the right and wrong decision to make in life.
And sometimes, it is not all about the profit and how much you make. Sometimes, you just want to have the sense of fulfillment which I guess you cannot really have just by completing your 8-5 day job. It’s beyond the white walls, outside, and you have to discover it.
It was a tough decision to let go of a job you have come to love and hate at the same time but I wanted to grow. I did not want to be confined in a place and a job that feels like I’m going nowhere. I felt that it was time to try sort things out on my own. I want to try it out being an independent interior designer: 1) to be able to do designs and schemes the way I want it to – I want to have more creative freedom 2) to expose myself more in the field of design and allied services 3) to try make a name and prove myself, and 4) to have more time to do other stuff I have in my challenge list.
It was hard. The first month felt like I’m going gaga. I was so used to getting my hands full with to-do tasks and in a snap it was all gone. I did not know what to do with all the free time that I have. It was crazy and it felt like I’m going down in a spiral turn. So much for being such a workaholic.
Well, that was that. Fast forward to the second month and I think I’m adjusting well. Sometimes I’m busy and sometimes not. It’s okay and it feels better not to go in with the rush everybody’s in. It feels good to do things at your own pace – I’m starting to feel the freedom I wanted to have in the first place. Most of the time I’m at home doing DIY projects, learning new tools of the trade, doing drawings or reading. I feel laid back. I have been too much in a hurry for the past 2 years and I guess it’s about time to take things slowly and appreciate everyday as it is.
I may not earn as much as I did when I had a day job but I get by. I’m more frugal than ever. I try not to get obsessed over buying things. Consumerism has not yet got the best of me.
I don’t know if I’ll be able to fulfill all that I’m yearning for but sometimes you just have to let go of the things you’re very used to, to find yourself. Some say it’s a mistake to quit without having much of a plan but it’s a mistake I’m willing to take. It’s better to commit a mistake in trying than regretting to have never tried at all.
Things are slow but so far, I’m willing to wait.